Pandit Kashyap Bandhu - Social Reformer

Bhavanesh Kaul, Jammu

Simultaneously he devoted his time and attention to the welfare of his Baradari where he percieved decadence creeping in the social structure.  To arrest this trend he worked for the rejunination of noble heritage prevalent in the Baradari social structure.  As a social reformer he initiated epoch making reforms viz.  Female education, Widow Remarriage and change over to Saree as a dress for women- this to give them larger identity with other Hindu women all over India.  The men folk having already worn similar dress as worn by men of office going class all over the country.  He, besides, worked hard for revival of customs and rituals that were in vogue in Baradari social structure.  These earlier practices created bonds of kinship in the community.

Inspite of the fact that essentially, by and large, Kashmiri Pandits in the valley had hand to mouth living and belonged to lower middle class, they paid maximum emphasis to education.  Consequenthy the bulk of low paid jobs, teachers, clerks, post men, peons, forest guards, patwaris etc. were held by them.  Such limited financial strength led to simple living and high thinking.  This resulted in what is known now, in common parlance, as sort of Socialist Pattern of society.  There were no beggars in the community because of having evolved a rich tradition of ATHAROUT and MOCHIPHOL.  In every household a separate DEAG (large earthen container was kept for this purpose and when the lady of the house took out rice to cook for meals a LUNGUN (Wooden measure) full was put into this Deag.  At fixed intervals volunteers came to collect this separate stored rice from each house and distributed the same among the real SAFEAD POSH members of the Baradari, thus preventing the humilation of begging and helped to maintain human dignity.  Pandit Kashyap Bandhu worked hard to revive this healthy custom and such other traditions of yore, to help the poorest amongst poor to lead respectful life with dignity.

After the demise of a family member on 10th Day KRIYA ritual, relatives, neighbours and friends would collect at the Bathing Ghat and then follow the bereaved member to his house.  He would enter his house and immediately come out head covered, wearing a "PHERAN" (later a long Kurta) walk up and down the narrow passage made by the people standing on both sides.  Each one would put some money, depending on the closeness of relationship with the bereaved member, into the Pheran pocket.  No one would know who contributed what and the receiver would also never know about such individual contributions.  This helped the bereaved family to perform 10th and llth day Kriyas of feeding and feasting of GURUJIS; without the feeling of strain of expenses involved and need to borrow.  This applied to all high and low and was an obligatory gesture of togetherness and uniformity.

Similarly, when there was a marriage in the family, the relations, neighbours, friends offered sums of money, depending on the closeness of relationship called "GULIMUTH" to the head of the family.  "VURBAL" was another helpful custom, when during a wedding, affordable contributions were made by all invited guests.  This added to a decent amount in the prevailing joint family system then.  Again, it was obligatory for all irrespective of the financial status.  Such warm gestures developed bonds of partnership in happiness and incidentally saved the lower groups from the clutches of money lenders.

Only vegetarian food was served to the Baraatis, since Kanyadaan was in progress according to Sanatan Dharm rites.  The bride grooms' party made their own arrangements of serving KEHWA with special KULCHAS, to all those who stayed back for the entire wedding ceremony.  As per old tradition, only young girls, younger than the bride groom would be part of the Baraat, then the bridge grooms were also younger in age.  All such healthy traditions considerably eased, the financial burden of the brides' parents.  In days of yore "GHAR ACHUN" did not necessarily immediately follow the wedding.  This ritual would follow later at a convenient date and some occassion to the girls' parents it was simple a close family affair and had some meaning too since it would be sort of a formal introduction amongst the bride grooms' party, more so the older ladies, who did not form part of the Baraat.

Bandhuji saw certain unhealthy trends creeping into our customs and traditions and taking alarming proportions gradually, as a result of DEKHA DEKHI.  Each wanting to outdo the other, totally detremental for the welfare of the communty.  Shri Bandhuji had the vision of seeing this sorry state of affairs developing, if immediate action was not taken.  He wanted us to shun wasteful expenditure on festivities, shun dowry system etc.  But unfortunately Bandhuji could not devote full time to these social problems and ensure the old simple and dignified traditions to take firm roots.  Since he was involved with epoch making reforms in the political area of those momentous days; ensuring Muslim Conference change over to National Conference with secular, socialistic and democratic constitution.

In today's social fabric of the Baradari these unhealthy trends have assumed Himalayan heights and with no end in sight.  The tendency now seems to be to copy, add, mix and multiply practices from other Hindu communities of the country.  Today we see Baraats coming with bands, gaslights, fire works and at this rate Bhangra is not far off followed by MILNI.  Already "JAIMALA" ceremony is added followed by old practice of "DWAR PUJA".

Again, there have been instances of non-vegetarian food being served with Baraatis.  What is more alarming is the core group of Baraatis are separately entertained to hard drinks and a variety of special snacks, Fried Fish, Shami kababs, chicken tikkas, cheese pakoras etc.  The bulk of the rest of Baraatis before the meal are served kehwa, tea, coffee, soft drinks with large assortment of sweets and savouries.  Obviously, all this adds to the financial strain of brides party more so the lower income group and is totally contrary to the old dignified and uniform affordable heritage.

The old practice of going firm on the alliance, arranged marriages, there used to be a convenient practice of "KATH BAAT" held in a third party house, known to both parties.  There the brides party would serve ..."MACHCHUT" to a small group of grooms, male relatives and a token exchange of flowers.  Then the formal "GANDUN" would follow.  In this the grooms' party would send "TILAK", a bridal dress, engagement ring and "NABADNOT" and dry fruit.  The brides parents would reciproate with engagement ring, suit piece for the groom, "NABADNOT" and dry fruit.  It was just this and no more.  Now the same ritual is celebrated, in hotels over lavish entertainment, and large retinue of grooms' party invited.  Expensive "HEUTDEUT" and gifts are exchanged.

There is now no relevance to "GHARACHUN" ritual, since ladies of even grandmother vintage, now accompany the Baraat.  And this ritual has become obligatory now, and follows immediately the wedding by both parties.  This present day practice is a glaring extravaganza involving vulgar exhibition of affluence.

The old ritual of "MATIMUR" has again no relevance now since the would be brides move in and out of the grooms' house.  Earlier the bride would be much younger and would be formally seen by the mother-in-law, by lifting her veil and for this a token gift was presented to the mother-in-law, as a gesture of warm regard.  But now this has been stretched to cover all ladies of the grooms' household.  Similarly, gift of "Targa" and "KHRAU' later changed to saree and sandals) as "KALAVALEUN" has also been stretched, multiplied many fold and covers larger group of ladies.  A simple affordable 'gift "SHANDKER" to "POPH" for guiding a much younger and sort of innocent bride to her bridal chamber.  This ritual has no relevance now in the present day scenario, besides involves more expensive gifts.

The present day practice of performance of "YAJNOPAVIT" just before the wedding, when grooms are full fledged working young men; is in total variance with the religious significance, this was performed before the boy entered teenage group, as is still prevalent amongst Bengalis, Maharashtrians, Tamil Nadu Brahmins.  Today this ceremony has been reduced to a farce as a friend succinctly remarked that this is so now being held just before the wedding, only to ensure receiving a "GOLDYONIA" (chain) and other expensive gifts, a big financial strain on the brides' parents.

Recently I was a member of a typical present day Kashmiri Pandit Baraat party, along with a Delhi resident, a common friend.  I was feeling terribly dejected to witness the vast spectacle of wasteful extravanganza and vulgar display of affluence trying to tease me out of my deep dejection, the friend cynically remarked.  "you MIGRANTS never had it so good.  You get Salary / Pension from the state exchequer, also collect Central Government DOLE and most of you are, besides, gainfully employed also.  No wonder you can spend so lavishly on these occasions.".

This total indifference towards the old, rich and noble heritage by the Baradari is really deplorable.  We have thus not only forgotten the plea of Great Reformer Shri Bandhuji but also are totally betraying him.  Some time back through the colunins of KOSHUR SAMACHAR, monthly publication of Kashmir Samiti of Delhi, our esteeened learned scholar and renowed teacher, Prof.  S. L. Pandit pleaded with the Baradari to think and ponder over these unhealthy trends developing in our social fabric, to the detriment of the welfare of the community, more so when the Baradari is uprooted and scattered all over.  Sane timely advice in keeping with the memory of Pandit Kashyap Bandhuji.

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